(Slight Return)

Well, it only took about five years longer than I intended it to, but it’s finally done, and out on Amazon. E-book only for now, I still need to sort out a few formatting issues on the paperback.

A bit of a softer launch this time, I won’t be hawking it on Amazon forums like I did last time. I’ll probably just let a few people know who looked at my writing previously and then let it do whatever it is (or more likely isn’t) going to do for itself…

Off out for a beer now. So no further publicity shite today. Bibliography updates will have to wait as well.



News and utter nonsense


It’s been over a year since I wrote on this blog. A whole year. In that time I have been writing, a bit, but I was also blocked for a good portion of it. Have recently been a lot more productive and finally seem to be getting back on track.

At the moment I’m about one or two stories away from a new collection of shorts called (Slight Return). The story I had out in Litro last year – Werner Herzog Gets Shot – is in it, as are two more stories I have coming out in the next couple of months. I’ve had one called Metal Machine Music accepted by The Skylark Review and this will be out in November. I’ve also had a story called 100% / Serpents accepted by Drunk Monkeys, and this will be out soon too (date to be confirmed). More details to follow on these when I have them.

In the meantime I thought I’d post up some nonsense I’ve been playing about with. The story behind this is that I set myself the challenge of writing a sci-fi piece and I started on a story as a bit of a joke which was framed as a screen-play pitch. The sci-fi part was the film being pitched. But it turned out that bit was better than I expected it to be, so I dropped the whole pitch idea and started writing it seriously. So what I’ve been left with are these shitty film ideas that I put together and I had so much fun writing them I thought I’d stick them here. The very fact that one of them led to a semi-decent idea means I’ll probably keep doing it, but for now I have these:

  1. The Matrix meets Billy Elliot. But instead of about dancing, it’s about a musical prodigy in a digital age. (Believe it or not, this has become my story Dead Cities and it’s not as shit as it sounds, well not quite as shit as it sounds).
  2. Terminator meets Forest Gump. All the main historical events of the past are being controlled by a group of Anarchists in the future. That’s why everything seems so random. Henry VIII, he’s a cyborg. Napoleon, Lee Harvey Oswald, Ed Balls: all cyborgs. Sent back with the sole purpose of creating chaos.
  3. Avatar meets American History X. A genetically engineered skin head is controlled by FBI agents to infiltrate a group of Neo Nazis.
  4. Alien meets Footloose. Rogue Nanobots take over the people of a small town. They create replicas of people from their own tissue and the copies burst out of chests and do weird shit (though probably not teaching others how to dance).

New Material

Just some shameless self-promotion really, for the spambots that target my blog and anyone else who may or may not still check in despite me neglecting the thing massively for months…

My first new material for ages, ‘Werner Herzog Gets Shot’, is going to be in July’s edition of Litro Magazine. More info to follow I guess, maybe a link if it goes on their website as well as in the magazine.

Comments now welcome on how to increase my penis size or collect the parcel I never ordered from UPS. Cheap Canadian meds? My favourite. Tax Refund? Only as long as I can stop the bank account I never opened from being suspended first.

7″ Fiction Prototype

After a bit of messing about over the weekend, the first 7″ Fiction prototype exists. It was done on my crappy printer as opposed to my decent office one (which needs new ink), but this is essentially what it looks like:

I’m having a logistical problem with the staples. But that will be resolved tomorrow when the cheap long arm stapler I got from eBay arrives. The hardest part was getting the front and back labels to align so the A Side and B Side both show through the paper sleeve. Anyway, it’s looking ok so almost ready to go into production for my first limited run of ten.

Actually, there are still one or two margin issues to sort out too. I think the bottom margin needs to be a bit bigger.

7″ Fiction – Update

First limited run of 7″ fiction will be 10 copies of It’s a Shame about Evan Dando (B-Side Instrumental), the number of the run determined by the number of sleeves I’ve just bought on EBay:

I was originally going to put them into plain white paper sleeves, but after searching around for a pack of these and finding some original ones on sale for around the same price, I changed my mind.

These won’t be for sale though. I’m putting them together to take around with me to any readings I do over the next couple of months. If anyone wants one, they can have one. Most people probably won’t…

What this does mean though is that every piece of writing in the series (am planning on doing up to about 9 or 10 over time) will be in a different sleeve. Which actually, I like the idea of. Exciting times. Just need to get the booklets printed now and we’re away.